The Mommy Wars, competitive work environments, backstabbing friends – what do all of these things have in common? They all center around the idea that women, by nature, are quite competitive folks. Anyone can look in one of the forums on CafeMom and see a fight break out over the littlest things – rear-facing child seats, breastfeeding, schooling choices, the decision to stay home or not to stay home. Even forums and websites dedicated to feminism can become battlegrounds – arguments break out over whether or not someone is “feminist” enough (whatever that means) or whether a woman is a sell-out.
It’s time to step back. Look around. Rather than looking for ways to tear your fellow women down, can you find something to like about that person – celebrate or admire even? I’m not quite sure where the woman vs. woman mentality came from – whether it’s based upon a belief that there is a limited number of good men out there, a limited number of opportunities, or on an unwillingness to allow one self to become vulnerable. The truth is, just like in the movie Mean Girls, I bet if we all started talking about our experiences we’d have things in common, insecurities in common, triumphs in common.
For one week, rather than focusing on what you can tear down in another woman, see if you can find something to like. If we stop focusing on life as a competition and start focusing on how we can work together, it will be so much easier to get the equality we want! “Divide and conquer” is a saying for a reason.
What do you think? Why do you think women are so cruel to one another?
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