Theme Song: Creed “My Sacrifice”
Projects: Grant Writing Preparation, A couple of quotes, a chapter revision
I’ve long thought that the hardest thing for me to do is to allow someone else to step in and take care of me. That might seem like it should be a really easy thing to do, but it’s not! In order to allow someone to take care of me, that means that I have to first admit that it’s okay to be taken care of.
In fact, I’ve pretty much always been responsible. I became a mom at 20, and that makes you grow up pretty darned fast. The very few times I’ve ever asked someone for help have been because there was no other choice but to ask for help! And in my mind, that has always meant that to not ask for help would lead to utter chaos!
In 2010, a good friend of mine gave me the following advice “It’s more selfish not to ask friends and loved ones for help or accept their offered help when you need it.” I’d never really looked at it that way before. I’ve always been the kind of person, mind you, who feels like going it alone and being independent was the right thing to do. I’ve also always been the person to be up until 3 am with a friend in crisis, donate time to a worthy cause, or help a friend out if I had the means. Even still, leaning on others is hard for me! Though I’ve been a single parent almost all of my son’s life, I’ve never had state or federal aid other than college grants. I’ve had one job or another since I was 16, and even when I was a graduate student, I got in trouble for “working too much” because I’d rather work hard than ask the state for help – my thoughts have always been that there are so many people in greater need than I.
Recently, I’ve been battling a nasty cold. Yuck! Instead of going it alone, and hunkering down under five feet of blankets, I let my boyfriend take care of me. I handed over the reins to him, and you know what? It felt nice to have someone take care of me and watch over me! It sounds like such a small thing, but it’s a big thing. Handing over the reins and letting someone help out when you need it isn’t a sign of dependence – it’s a sign of trust.
Where in your life could you hand over the reins a little bit?
